EMFFL League Constitution
Enron Memorial Fantasy Football League — Official Rules
1.0 League Overview
This is the Enron Memorial Fantasy Football League (EMFFL). The EMFFL is a 12-team league that was formed in July of 2015. It was created with the intent of fostering a competitive and active league, free from non-sarcastic douchebaggery. The rules described below are designed to act as a guideline for overall league operation and play. This league is meant to be fun and enhance the football watching experience. If you are subject to sensitivity, or are prone to being butthurt, find another league. You will not survive this one.
1.1 Executive Committee
The executive committee for the EMFFL consists of:
- Commissioner: Paul Muth — [email protected]
- Co-Commissioner: Daniel Arnold — [email protected]
The executive committee will be responsible for resolving all disputes that are not expressly covered by this constitution. If a committee member is involved in the dispute, that member will excuse themselves from the decision process. While all owners are encouraged to submit suggestions to the committee, the committee's decision on all matters is final.
1.2 Living Constitution
This is a living constitution. Rules and guidelines will be reviewed and revised as necessary between seasons. Only in the most extreme circumstances are rules altered in-season. All suggestions or improvements should be made aware to the league. The rules are meant to improve clarity of gameplay, not inhibit enjoyment.
This constitution is open for suggestion and revision throughout the offseason. Revisions will freeze at the conclusion of the Draft and the document will be interpreted as written for the remainder of the season. The Commissioner reserves the right to make revisions in extreme circumstances.
2.0 League Financing and Awards
League fees are due for established owners two weeks prior to the draft. League fees for new members are due three weeks prior to the draft.
2.1 League Fees
The EMFFL fees for the current season are $100, which includes a $10 weekly high score prize pool during the regular season.
2.2 Prize Money
EMFFL prize money will be distributed within 7 days of the championship game.
- $40 — highest single-week point total of the season (paid at end of season)
- $100 — highest total points scored during the regular season (league dues back)
- $200 — playoff runner-up (twice league dues back)
- $700 (minus engraving cost) — league champion (remaining dues)
2.3 Other Fees
EMFFL will assess a $20 name change fee for teams that choose to change their name. Name changes may only take place during the offseason. Name change fees are added to the prize money pot. Names may be changed at no cost to managers inheriting previously named teams.
2.4 Awards and Last Place Duties
2.4.1 Awards
EMFFL awards one physical trophy: The Bum Phillips Championship Belt ("The Bum"). The Bum is awarded to the owner who wins the EMFFL Championship game. The winner's team name is engraved on the trophy with the corresponding year.
2.4.2 Last Place Duties
The owner that loses the toilet bowl playoffs may choose their punishment: Food, Shame, or Buyout.
2.4.2.1 Food Option
"Hot Ones" Option
The losing owner must participate in a commissioner-hosted Hot Ones challenge, consuming hot sauces of increasingly higher Scoville ratings equivalent to the current Hot Ones season lineup. Failure to complete the challenge means the losing owner covers the Champion's league fees ($100) for the following season. The medium of consumption can be altered for dietary restrictions, but standard practice is chicken wings or nuggets.
"9-9-4" Option
The losing owner must complete the 9-9-4 challenge: 9 hot dogs and 9 beers (or carbonated beverages) within a regulation four-quarter football game. Failure to complete means covering the Champion's league fees ($100) for the following season. The challenge is video-recorded by the commissioner and must be completed prior to the NFL Draft in April.
2.4.2.2 Shame Roulette
League members will decide on four options (busking on a corner, waffle house challenge, etc.) prior to the season. One option is chosen at random at the end of the season. The losing owner must complete the assigned task, which is video-recorded and must be completed prior to the NFL Draft. Failure to complete results in removal from the league.
2.4.2.3 "Who Wants to be the Shittiest Fantasy Owner" Buyout
The losing owner owes the league bank a minimum of $200 (for the following season's draft party). The owner then participates in a reverse trivia game where they begin owing $400. Correctly answered questions reduce the amount back to $200 (but no lower). An incorrect answer negates all earned credit and the full $400 is owed. Owners may opt out before completing. This challenge must be completed prior to the NFL Draft. Failure results in removal from the league.
3.0 League Setup and Competition
The EMFFL consists of 12 teams with no conference or division separations. The schedule includes matchups with each team plus three matchups with each team's designated rival. Rivals are chosen prior to the draft, with reverse order of standings receiving first choice.
3.0a Week 13
In 2021, the regular season expanded to 17 games. To eliminate bye-week conflicts during playoffs, an additional Week 13 was added. Matchups pair the previous two seasons' final standings against one another (e.g., 2020 Champion vs 2019 Champion). In the event of a 4th rivalry matchup conflict, the older ranked team is skipped.
3.1 Playoffs
Playoffs begin during Week 15 of the NFL season. The top 4 teams by overall record advance. Seeding is determined by:
- Overall winning percentage
- Overall points scored
- Head-to-head points scored
The playoffs consist of 3 one-week rounds. The top two seeds receive a bye week. In the event of a tie, the winner is determined by total points scored by each team's starting QB.
4.0 Rosters and Lineups
Rosters contain a maximum of 16 active players. Position maximums:
| Position | Max |
|---|---|
| QB | 4 |
| RB | 8 |
| WR | 8 |
| TE | 3 |
| D/ST | 3 |
| K | 3 |
5.0 The Draft
5.1 Draft Date
The Commissioner determines the exact draft date prior to each season. As a general rule, the draft is held between the final NFL preseason game and the season opener.
5.2 Draft Order
Draft order is determined by Draftpocalypse — a multi-event competition culminating in a simulated royal rumble. The winner receives the first overall pick.
5.3 Draft Attendance
The draft is conducted offline and all owners are required to attend. Accommodations for unavailable owners are determined case-by-case.
5.3a — If absence is excusable, the league will make a collective effort to draft a fair team on the owner's behalf.
5.3b — "The Dallas Lopez (Fuckboi McGee) Rule" — League members who no-call, no-show will be auto-drafted.
5.4 Draft Execution
The draft is conducted in serpentine order over 16 rounds. Owners have 1 minute per pick. A timekeeper is designated for offline drafts. The league may vote on the day to alter time limits. Teams are auto-picked if time expires.
6.0 Free Agency
The EMFFL uses the Free Agent Acquisition Budget (FAAB) waiver wire system. Each team begins the season with $100 FAAB. The team with the lowest draft pick receives first waiver priority. Teams drop to lowest priority after using a waiver. Equal bids go to the higher priority team. Following the waiver process, free agency is first-come, first-served with no transaction limits.
7.0 Trades
Trading is allowed and encouraged between any owners with no trade limits. All trades are reviewed by the commissioner and processed expeditiously.
7.1 Trade Veto
The commissioner reserves the right to veto trades deemed inconsistent with fair competition. This power is only invoked in extreme cases of obvious collusion or unfair advantage. Involved committee members recuse themselves from decisions.
7.2 Trading Among Significant Others
Trades between league members in a relationship are subject to a compulsory league-wide majority rule vote.
7.3 "The Etienne Rule"
Players suffering season-ending injuries are disqualified from one-for-one trades.
8.0 Starting Lineups
| Slot | Position |
|---|---|
| 1 | Quarterback |
| 1 | Running Back |
| 2 | Wide Receiver |
| 1 | Tight End |
| 2 | Flex (RB/WR/TE) |
| 1 | Kicker |
| 1 | Defense/Special Teams |
Players are locked into starting positions at kickoff of their individual game and cannot be switched. Owners may request administrative lineup changes from the commissioner prior to game start. The commissioner will not alter lineups after players are locked.
9.0 Keeper League Rules
At the conclusion of the season, each owner may designate one player from their final roster as a keeper for the following season. The keeper costs a draft pick 2 rounds higher than where they were originally drafted (e.g., drafted in Round 7 → forfeits Round 5 pick the following year).
- Players drafted in Rounds 1 or 2 are not eligible for keeper designation.
- Undrafted free agents kept cost a flat 5th round pick.
- Owners are not obligated to designate a keeper.
10.0 Active Ownership Requirements and Cheating
Each owner is expected to actively manage their team weekly regardless of record or playoff contention. Failing to field a full lineup earns a warning. Two consecutive weeks without a full lineup (without reason) results in the executive committee assuming team management. A committee-run team cannot trade and may only add/drop players to fill legal lineups due to injury or byes. Prize money from a committee-run team is distributed evenly to remaining owners.
10.1 Anti-Tanking Provision
Owners are prohibited from intentionally fielding a lineup that gives the opposing team a clear advantage. The executive committee may administratively alter a lineup if intentional losing is evident. Two consecutive weeks of intervention results in the team being declared inactive and committee-run.
10.2 Collusion
Collusion is not tolerated. Owners found guilty of collusion will be removed from the league.
10.3 "The Griff-Erik Rule"
Owners in the 3rd place championship round are required to set their roster with active players. Failure to do so results in a $10 fine deducted from final payout for each week an incomplete team is submitted.
11.0 Scoring System
Scoring is handled automatically by Sleeper using standard scoring rules with the following modifications:
- 0.5 PPR (half-point per reception)
- No yardage penalties applied to D/STs
- Fractional scoring to reduce tie probability
- Competition is weekly head-to-head matchups
- Ties are broken by each team's QB total points for that week
Final Comments
This league was created to weed out douchebags and whiny babies, and the intent of this document is to safeguard the league from any potential future douchiness. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know. This was not created all on my own — I had input from a lot of you. So have fun, don't suck, don't be a whiny bitch, and welcome to the EMFFL.